Saturday, September 15, 2007

I Met A Man With Sixteen Wives

It's Mid-day... He walks up to her in full safety gear; slow, meticulous inspection as he takes in the curves of her voluminous body. Touch – don’t touch... she knows he wants her. Everybody watches on as they continue their roles on the set. Twenty years ago you’d be shot trying to peek in. Today 10 cameras roll to capture this event.

She starts with a gentle, seductive moan, giving no hint of the beast within. He is comfortable, confident and prepared... he has handled many, but none like her; this is going to be a blast.

She purrs to life. 16 cylinders synchronized to the tune of a whirling turbine as her 7 speed DSG gearbox shifts into 1st; life is good. He gives more gas as the test run comes to an end. Perfect! he exclaims as the pit crew approach.

Launch Mode

For you speed demons, forget the Autobahn; Ehra-Lessien is a dream. Volkswagens’ test track built in a no-fly zone during the cold war is a 60 mile heaven of private tarmac which includes a large variety of road surfaces and curves, there is a whopping 5 mile straigtaway, absolutely flat and leveled, when standing on one side, the other end cannot be seen due to the curvature of the Earth!

“When you get to the banked turn before the straight, make sure you hold 200 km/h through the turn and go nuts after that” the lead engineer tells him.
“Got it!”

The 2 ton beheamoth launches ferociously...
Mindbending speed as she hits 100 km/h in 2.45 seconds.
More Juice...
4 seconds... 165
at 10 seconds, she nears 215 km/h,
he eases off the gas to regain full sight. The last 8 seconds was a total blur...
the bend aproaches...
the all wheel configuration glues her to the road.
It’s a banked turn, blood flows to his left as the G forces increase... steady...
204, 202, 205... 207... 205... Here comes the straightaway...
It’s loud, very loud...
4 turbochargers kick all 1001 horsepower into play
It’s a mad rush
Every sensor is on defcon 4!
10 seconds later shes’ doing 362 km/h... more juice
375… 381… 390… 395… 401… foot’s flat on the gas; common’ go!
403… yes, that’s it baby gimme some more he begs. The GPS spedometer cant believe it… common’!
404.5... Shes covering a football field every second
405… he’s not letting go… this baby can do more!
406.2…. that’s it gimme one more…..
6 seconds later… 407.1 km/h….
It’s a total blur... Large signs indicate the four mile marker – time to slow down.
Defcon 3, 2, 1... flaps deploy to handling mode.
Hartmut Warkuss smiles



His palms are sweating, a mild chill runs down his spine
It must have been a dream
Only a dream could feel this good